things I learned just from spending a few hours with him

I’m not dead inside after all. since my second marriage ended, I’ve believed that I would never want to have any sort of relationship again. today, I spent time with someone for just part of the day, and although I will probably never see him again, and the purpose of our day was anything but romantic, I felt things I hadn’t felt since I started dating my first husband a LONG time ago.

it doesn’t have to be the guy I hung out with today. in fact, it can’t be that guy, but some appropriate person will help spark that great feeling again, I look forward to it. in the meantime, I won’t try to make someone fit into a pre-conceived mold of what I think is a great person. that’s what I did last time. lesson learned.

hmmmm – constant migraines, or frequent panic attacks?

thanks to an interesting new medication (new to me, anyway), I’m emerging from underneath the boulder of a 3+ week-long migraine. I didn’t think such a thing was possible, but there you go – you, too can have a horrendously bad headache for almost a month straight! sign up here.

my wonderful doctor gave me this medication to act as a prophylactic agent, and it does seem to be helping quite a bit. I’ve had just a couple of breakthrough headaches since I began taking it. the side effects, however, are something else. part of the problem is that these headaches are probably being caused by a small lesion in my right temporal lobe, and although the new med should help me adjust to temporal lobe problems, it affects both lobes, so it’s making me feel kind of strange at times. most of the time, I’d actually say it’s improving things quite a bit. my mood is generally better; I have a bit more energy, and I seem to be able to handle more things at once.

::ahem::

HOWEVER. as I adjust to it, it’s also given me some major anxiety/panic attacks (they’ve abated somewhat in the past day) that should go away as I acclimate, but man, this is no panic picnic.

still, given the choice, I choose panic over the constant migraine any day. I’m going to have to change my Indian name from “Takes Too Much Imitrex and Codeine” to something else. any suggestions?

OH! and I have to post briefly about the ridiculous game show my friend Ben and I came up with last night when we were discussing the concept of Samsara. after much seriousness, we both got very silly and decided that we should pitch a new TV show called “Wheel of Sorrow,” based on the Buddhist definition of Samsara: the eternal cycle of birth, suffering, death, and rebirth. we figured Vanna White could still be the letter-turner, if she wanted, but the phrases would be something like “You have two weeks left to live,” or other similarly cheery statements. I can’t for the life of me remember what the prizes were going to be, however; I only remember that they were going to suck.

I think it was one of those “you had to be there” moments; I swear it was hilarious at the time.